300 (2006)

I thought this film pretty mediocre when I saw it at the cinema.  But it was visually stylish and the DVD was cheap, so in a moment of weakness I ended up with a copy.  It's sat on my shelf, unloved and unwatched, since then.  I decided to change that ... well, the 'unwatched' part at least ... after reading the exquisite evisceration of its not-actually-a-sequel on io9.

Re-watching 300 provoked a mild twitter rant, which I shall share with you, because it reduces the amount of time I have to spend on this review :)

THIS! IS! SPARTA! THESE! ARE! NIPPLES! MY! CAPSLOCK! IS! BROKEN! #300
Man, when even a cast this good can't make your script work, you might want to think about what that means #300
#300 is not a movie that is orange and teal. It's a movie that is orange OR teal.
Racist, sexist, ableist and homophobic. Bigotry bingo! #300
This scene is basically orcs and a cave troll. At least there are no elves #300
Just an army of Aragorns in bondage shorts basically #300

So yeah.  It's a bad film.  Terrible dialogue.  Repugnant political and social views.  Repetitive (though stylish) fight scenes.  And it wastes so much talent in the process: Lena Headey, Dominic West, David Wenham, Michael Freakin' Fassbender.

Check it out only if near-nude muscley guys are your thing, and you don't know how to work the Googles to find them online.